Yo guys! Can I share my frustrations with you? Because quite honestly I think if I don’t talk about this and let it out, I am going to blow up like a balloon when you add just a tad bit too much of helium. I am frustrated beyond belief, and I am left with a very bitter taste in my mouth. I am also disappointed and feel like I fell for one of those marketing scams. Well, in all actuality I did. Only I didn’t realize this until everything was said and done.
What’s all this about? I don’t know if I said it openly or not, but I am a web designer by trade. I also like to consider myself a blogger/writer since I have always loved writing. I believe that in order to keep up with all the trends and stay current, it’s important to continually invest in yourself and improve. Plus, I am an inquisitive creature. I thrive on learning. Given all that I got a notification in my email inbox that two webinars were coming up, one related to web designing, and one related to blogging. I got pretty excited because there were supposed to be run by people who have established themselves as authorities in the respective niches and the webinars were free. I excitedly signed up and marked the day on my calendar, planned everything ahead so I can devote my time to “professionally improving myself.”
The first webinar about web design was on the topic of giving a freelance web designer an upper hand when it comes to landing clients. Second one, dealing with blogging was about creating a popular blog from day one. Perfect right? Riiight….
So why am I disappointed then? Because I learned NOTHING. Not a god damn thing that I didn’t already know myself, nothing that I didn’t figure out on my own through research and googling like crazy till wee hours of the morning.
The part that left a bitter taste in my mouth? The web design webinar was a sales pitch to buy their “strategic course that will make you stand out for $199”. The blogging webinar was a sales pitch to buy their course (and this is what really gets me…. ) for a measly ….. $13500. Yes, you read that correctly. Both webinars gave the course outlines and straight from the outline I can tell you I wouldn’t learn anything new. I already know all that. In fact, I can give you the exact blue prints as theirs right now without even blinking an eye.
When the webinars ended I was disappointed heavily. To make matters worse, my hubby was able to sort of listen to them with me, since I didn’t use the headset. Throughout those disappointing 4 hours I would get a nudge and a raised eyebrow, followed up by a question: “Don’t you already do all those things?” “Haven’t I heard you talking about this for OBM (Our Blended Marriage)?” Then the final blow: “You know as much as these guys… why aren’t you out there sharing it with people?”
Good question. Why aren’t I? And the answer is so stupidly simple. Because I’m afraid. Let’s face it, years of private blogging under various pseudonyms never made anyone famous. To all of you, I am a nobody who knows nothing about anything. I’m just one more blogger amongst millions of other bloggers, who are already well established, why should anyone listen to what I have to say? How do I stand out, a poor little me who showed up out of the blue, claiming I know as much as the next guy about web design or blogging?
Then this post about fear hit my Reader. Fear. Such a small and yet such a powerful word. I spent the better part of the night tossing and turning and going over the possibilities, the options. In my head, I wrote one post after another, screaming out my frustration and anger, creating a sales pitch that would top theirs, mentally deleting it, starting over. If I actually get brave enough to do it, where do I do it? Here? On OBM? On my official website? On another website that I have that is registered under my preferred pseudonym that symbolizes everything I want to be as Ana but am too afraid? How do I share everything I know without regurgitating everything that has already been said by the “experts”, better yet how in the heck do I top them? What can I offer that doesn’t pale in comparison?
Am I going to let fear stop me? After I vowed to myself that this year things will change. Not that they HAVE to change, they WILL change. After I made a promise to myself that this year, we would do whatever it takes to bring us one step closer to our goal? Can I afford to let fear stop me?
I spent a few hours in the morning working, strategizing, planning… Then everything just welled up inside me and I sat there crying. Crying because of blows I’ve been dealt, situation that looks bleak, seeing doors closing but no windows opening, because I have no magical bullet proof strategy, let alone the financial backing to launch myself with a bang. After the tears dried off, I realized I have something they don’t. I have my honesty and my knowledge. I can be brutally honest, and I can give you the low down without the fluff, and unnecessary bullshit. I do know my stuff. I don’t want to create a big fluff about something to lure you in, only to under-deliver, and then do an up sell that will be a slightly more elaborate version of what I “generously” gave away for free. I am not going to pretend I have all the answers or know 110% about everything. But I can promise that if I don’t know something, I will direct you to a more reliable source or I will google the answer till my eyeballs fall out to find an answer. I will break the search engine that knows it all if need be.
So, with all that said, it looks like I will be kicking fear in the ass, and putting myself out there. Throwing myself among the sharks. The only question that remains is where will I do it.